The beginning 3 family and friends

People are a strange cosmic entity indeed.

Overall we received many positive remarks and lots of support from friends and family regarding our big move. Although most (I hope!) was sad to see us go they were very excited for us and sometimes we stood in awe at the support and love we received.

But, on the other hand, some people's reactions and opinions left me speechless.

There were the fair weatherners:

The commonest reaction was some or other stupid comment about how cold it was in Canada, be it from colleagues, the guy doing repairs at our house, parents at school, close friends, loose acquaintances or someone on Facebook. By the umpteenth time of encountering this comment I felt as if I would strangle the very next person to say something about the Canadian winter. The ironic thing is that none of the people making these idiotic statements have ever been there and nobody that's been there made a statement along these lines. I kept wondering why they don’t have anything else to say that’s more positive or uplifting. Now to be fair, I do realize that's it probably a natural thing to say and that it is a perception about Canada in sun drenched SA but really, if you can't be supportive at least be a bit more creative!
I caught myself trying to explain over and over again that the Canadians are geared for the winter, that their houses are more comfortable in winter than ours are in our mild winters, that we are going to live in the southern part which is not as cold as people think it is, that 30 million people survive it every year, that the Guelph summers are hotter than Durban, that winter does not last the whole year, that, contrary to popular belief, there is a sun up there too, that we will be learning to do all kinds of fun winter activities, that we won't have to worry about skin cancer, that I can save on sunblock and anti-perspirant, that I won't have to worry about the pigmentation on my face getting any worse, that I can eat as much as I want as the winter clothes will hide all my rolls and that it can't be that bad if so many people immigrate to the Canadian shores every year. As soon as I started with all my counter arguments a veil would drop and I could see their ears and brains shorting out!

If only they would understand that the weather is in any case at the bottom of the list of  things that I worry or wonder about.

There were the interrogators:

Some friends would subject us to gruelling interrogations that would do any special ops interrogators proud, this was pure emotional torture and the only thing missing was the bright lights, the pliers and the shocky thingy with wires. They would ask us if we thought about this, have we thought about that, how are we going to handle this or that, have we thought it through carefully, will our marriage survive it, are the kids going to be OK...blah blah blah. Do they think we are children and that we woke up one morning, looked at each other and said Oh, it sounds like a good idea to go to Canada, lets go. Nooooo, of course not. We thought it through, chewed on it, spat it out, chewed it again, digested it, sat on it, looked at it from all angles, turned it around, pummelled it to death and only then made our decision. We are, after all, adult forty-somethings you know.

There were the ignorers:

Some friends chose to ignore the subject just completely. They would hear of our plans, make a couple of comments (these invariably included statements about the cold) and just flatly refused to ever ask us anything about it. These are the ones that never called to hear how it was going, how were the kids feeling or any of the other things that you would kind of expect from people that you thought were caring friends. Perhaps jealousy, perhaps a total inability to put themselves in someone else's shoes??........I haven't got the foggiest and this will probably always remain a complete and utter mystery. 

And then there were the Great Ones:

Then there were the supportive and positive friends, colleagues and acquaintances. These were our rocks throughout the whole process. Some have gone through the same process, some were going through it at the same time that we were and some are just super dooper people that really cared. To these my heartfelt thanks for being there every step of the way. Thank you for the phone calls, the dropping in, the going out to dinner, the messages on Facebook, the quick SMS and the quick hug at school. Thank you for still welcoming our boys for playdates even though you must have felt that you wanted to start severing the ties between your kids and ours.Thank you for not always asking how I was feeling and instead just talking about every day normal stuff, you had the personal savvy to realise that I needed any sense of normality that I could find amongst all the turmoil and that sometimes I did not want to talk about moving. Thank you for bringing food while we were packing up, you even brought paper plates and disposable cutlery because you knew that all ours were already in boxes. 

 Thank you to our family that has been so positive and supportive all the way.Thank you to my brother and his family for giving us their house to sleep in while we were packing up and they were on holiday. Thank you to our parents that bore their sadness in stoic silence and never let us see them cry because they knew we wouldn't be able to handle it.